Sex On Wheels

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{Disclaimer: This post is intended to be a humorous, light post written tastefully on the challenges of RV married life. Enjoy!}

When we first decided we were really going to ditch the house {along with our wonderfully large master bedroom attached to a large bathroom with a jacuzzi tub and closet bigger than our entire RV!!!!} I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I had a small panic attack the first time it occurred to me that we would have to learn how to manage {ahem!} married life activities within the confines of less than 300 sq. feet with two young kids sleeping just footsteps away at the other end of the RV.

 I began imagining random nights of silent lovemaking involving violent shaking of our entire home, things falling off of walls and out of shelves! Something resembling a scene from a silent love horror movie! Or worst! The END of our love life as we knew it!

Maybe this isn’t even an issue for everyone. And if you don’t have children, I can’t think of any reasons why this would be much of an issue at all even for RV life. But for my husband and I, RV life or not, all we knew was this was a part of our marriage in which we were NOT willing to negotiate possibilities of it slowly dwindling away into oblivion for lack of a good plan.

But for those who might also be facing this issue like we were, I can assure you that after six months of full-time RV life on the road with two young children in tow, my husband and I have yet to become forced into living the celibate lives of nuns & monks.

No, our bedroom is not soundproofed and no we do NOT wait for weekend getaways without the kids to have a love life! But there have been a few necessary adjustments we’ve made to continue to make our love life a priority, to keep it alive and well all while ensuring that our children are not scarred for life!

Number One. Stability – STABILIZERS. Yes, yes and amen.  Although most campers have their own stabilizers, my husband bought additional stabilizers to, um, well….keep the trailer from rocking’.

Two. Privacy – Real doors. Many if not most RVs don’t have real doors with real locks on them. We were not interested in those for the most obvious of reasons. I am quite sure you could make it work with less, this was simply a personal safety preference issue for our family.

Three. I guess this one could also fall under “privacy.” Having a bathroom directly off the master bedroom. In our search for an RV we toured one that we absolutely loved. We did not however buy that one based solely on the fact that the bathroom was at the other end of the camper next to the bunk house. (kids’ room) And since naked midnight streaks through the camper with children in tow are NOT on our list of things to do for fun, we opted for one with a bathroom right off the master bedroom.

Four. Boundaries –  Just because we live in an RV doesn’t mean we are irresponsible, nudist hippies who have no value for decency and modesty. Since we do live in a small space together, setting clear boundaries between the two of us and the two of them is something we’ve made important. The kids know that after we’ve spent time together as a family at night and they are put to bed, when mom and dad retreat to their room that is our space and our time. Alone. Therefore at that time they know it becomes our, “no kids aloud zone/ mommy & daddy time.” 

Now that doesn’t mean things can’t get a bit tricky at times. Such as when the little taps at the locked bathroom door that connects to our room and a “But I’ve got to go to the bathroom REAL bad” happens. And when it does, we adjust.

Five. Bedroom Noise. Well, um…. let’s see there’s always turning the tv up real loud and duct tape! {kidding about the last one} Other than that, this is the one part that we do happen to reserve for our weekends away. So if any of you other RVers have discovered or created the solution to this one, for the love of Pete please let us know!!!!!

Six. Space limitations – Well, that’s a whole other post for a whole other day. Let’s just say, I’ve had my share of head trauma for a lifetime.  😉

In all seriousness, we have discovered that this topic, as with most other things in life, is exactly what you make of it. I can think of plenty of marriages that have crappy love lives that have nothing to do with living in under 300 sq. feet of space. I can also think of some really great marriages with healthy love lives that are not dependent upon the circumstances around them.

I always think back to how it was in the beginning. You know, when love was fresh and new and exciting and no person or difficult circumstance could have kept us from each other. Why should the quality or intensity of a love life have to change just because we’ve been married for twelve years, have two children and live in a tiny home on wheels?

I can’t think of one single reason it should.

Two thumbs up for rockin’ the fine art of “sex on wheels!”

Tiny home, big life. Live light!

Please feel free to leave me your own funny or serious stories, thoughts & experiences on this topic below!

About Rachel Rowell

A true southern gal at heart, Rachel was raised and lives in the deep south and spends her days raising her own babies, writing, making music, reading out on the front porch, and cooking supper for her family to sit around the table and enjoy together at nights! Her ultimate girlhood dream was to raise a family in a house just like "Anne of Green Gables" and now she is living her dream and inspiring others along the way.

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41 Responses to Sex On Wheels

  1. Satirah February 26, 2014 at 9:04 pm #

    Use a noise machine for the noise. Plug it in and set it right next to the door. It will muffle the sound unless you are ultra vocal. I do this at home because noise seems to travel down our tiled hall way 🙂

    • Rachel Rowell February 26, 2014 at 9:06 pm #

      LOL! LOVE this idea? So, my next question is….where does one buy a noise machine? 😉

      • Michele June 24, 2014 at 4:55 am #

        We used to have the plug in kind like this: http://goo.gl/HLkqtP (Amazon or Bed Bath & Beyond) but now we use a white noise app on our iPhone.

    • Tracy February 24, 2016 at 4:02 am #

      This is funny, I was just thinking about this and I am like what am I am going to do, I ignored the thought and decided to come to pinetrest, this shows up. I am going to try the white machine and fans in both rooms LOL we will be getting our camper in 5 days!!!

  2. womanwhodreamsbig February 26, 2014 at 9:05 pm #

    Thanks for writing about this because I couldn’t figure out how on earth a couple could have relations with children in the rv.

    • Rachel Rowell February 26, 2014 at 9:11 pm #

      Oh girl, we humans beings are extremely resourceful and creative when we need to be! I just wanted everyone to know that it CAN be done and it needn’t be the death of RV marriages everywhere! 😉

  3. Sara February 26, 2014 at 9:46 pm #

    First off i second the white noise machines! They are amazing! or I put a fan out in the kids rooms. What i wanna know is what kind of stabalizers do you have?? The rocking is our problem!

    • Rachel Rowell February 26, 2014 at 10:30 pm #

      Sara, I will ask my husband and get back to you on that asap!

  4. tam hodge February 26, 2014 at 9:46 pm #

    you’re pretty much outstanding. i am very in love with this post. your words. your priorities. your love for life and living it well.

    hats off to you, girl!

  5. corieclark February 26, 2014 at 9:49 pm #

    This is great! I know we would find a way like you have. We like it too much 😉 And we currently live in a small condo and the hubby works nights a lot. So we have to be creative with our time and space. It’s just what we do. No reason to let the size of our home or my husband’s schedule get in the way.

  6. Lynne Jones February 26, 2014 at 10:02 pm #

    Love ♡♡ . This made my day!!

  7. Deb Nyberg February 26, 2014 at 10:07 pm #

    As a society we have limited real love exposure from our children. This is absurd. The more a child knows his parents love each other, the happier the child/children. When pioneers traveled across the US by covered wagons, new babies were also born in those same wagons. Small homes were built when they settled and children lived in one room homes with their parents. Sex should never be a concern in a true, loving family. I’m 61 and still allow myself the privilege of being young in heart anytime my husband and I can enjoy the moment. Our grandchildren know mawmaw and pawpaw love each other and that is a good thing for them to know and understand. Keep rock’n!

    • Rachel Rowell February 26, 2014 at 10:33 pm #

      I agree Deb. Although we don’t “smother” our kids with details or ridiculous amounts of PDF in front of them, they are well aware of the basics of “how things work” between their mommy and daddy. Honestly, I feel that it makes them feel secure in many ways.

  8. Edwards Posse February 26, 2014 at 10:09 pm #

    We have been full-timing for 5 months with 5 kids in a 5th wheel toyhauler so all the kids are in the back. We have a bedroom off the bathroom WITH a door in the front and a washer/dryer combo in the bedroom. When it is on the spin cycle, it shakes the whole RV, stabilizers or not. The kids are used to this so we just plan our alone time during the wash cycle. 🙂

    • Rachel Rowell February 26, 2014 at 10:34 pm #

      haha! I love it! That is just perfect. 🙂

  9. anniefarbs February 26, 2014 at 10:24 pm #

    love how you did this tastefully so as not to offend anyone…i am thinking the great outdoors will be my husband and I’s favorite place.. of course only when we are away from other campers..and haven’t seen any snakes..

    • Rachel Rowell February 26, 2014 at 10:35 pm #

      thank you so much Annie. And yes, snakes stay away!!! 😉

  10. Scott February 26, 2014 at 10:25 pm #

    Well done! You hit all the angles. Maybe one day I’ll get to practice or at least experience what you ‘preach’. Until then, it’s just me and my 3 TVs in the MH! Of course when my sons bring their own girlfriends I have never noticed any such issues in the 33′ confines. Different strokes for different folks. LOL!

  11. Zoe Racca February 27, 2014 at 6:39 pm #

    Shoot, there was a time when our girls didn’t have a bedroom door, and we not having an actual “bedroom”, still managed. We just have a “nook” at the front of our RV which accommodates our bed and desk. The girls, at the other end of the RV have their own room, but for the longest time, they only had a curtain hanging in the doorway. We still have our curtain that we close when it’s Mommy & Daddy time, and we’ve warned our 8 year old that should she ever come out here and our curtain is closed, she needs to make her presence known BEFORE opening it. However, my Husband and I have excellent hearing and our girls (once asleep) sleep like a rock. Ten months later, and they finally have a real door with a lock no less (we never will…our RV doesn’t allow for an actual door for us). It’s just funny, because in the beginning, I thought it would be a necessity, and now it really isn’t. We managed. If rocking is an issue, I guess I’ll never know, because in the heat of the moment, I am never focused on sway. Plus, our eldest has never mentioned rocking…so perhaps our stabilizers are doing their job? Our bathroom is strategically positioned at the center point of our home on wheels, and that has never mattered. We just put our clothes on before we utilize it…so for us, having an attached bathroom wasn’t a big deal. It would be nice to have a full-sized tub though rather than the 1/2 tub…but I’m the only one complaining about that, so oh well. Nice pose Rachel! A lot of people think that living in an RV with kids will terminate sex lives…and if it doesn’t, then, well…what on earth are you thinking?!? Lol! It’s not like we’re swinging from the chandelier! (P.S. outdoor lovemaking is most excellent if you ever find yourself in a more rural or less noticeable location…although, if you’re in an area with a high mosquito population, I highly would advise you to put on bug spray first. My poor Husband learned that lesson the hard way, lol!)

    • Rachel Rowell February 27, 2014 at 9:35 pm #

      lol! Thanks for the laugh Zoe. Thanks for the tip on the bug spray! 😉 Also, it is incredible how one adjusts to a situation no matter the challenges. That is certainly something our entire family is learning in this new way of life. We may not have all the same luxuries as before, but we just adjust to the new normal or our living space and our lives as a whole aren’t any less….in fact they feel like more!

  12. Tammy February 28, 2014 at 4:40 am #

    Loved this! We’re two months on the road with seven kids in tow. Where there’s a will there’s a way! 😉

  13. Jacques March 3, 2014 at 12:42 am #

    I have a comment to had to the person about the spring I saw a funny sing on a motor home once. Don’t laugh if you the motor home is rocking it my be your wife or you Daughter by the way you should camp in the tent and then you will appreciate a motor home no every one is made for that gipsy life which I adore j

  14. unpredictableperrys March 20, 2014 at 4:37 am #

    Thanks for writing this! Next time someone asks me about how we manage I will know just where to send them.

  15. Amber Miller March 21, 2014 at 6:34 pm #

    We are about to retire from military and live in our RV with our 7 year old. I was wondering how we were going to “manage” alone time. Rachel, thank you so much for your post. I am so glad I found your blog!!

  16. shannon March 28, 2014 at 5:25 pm #

    My husband and I are selling our house and then going fulltime. We have kids and this topic is one of the ones that concerned me. So glad for your tasteful and truthful post.

    Any thoughts on Trailers vs. motorhomes? We will be buying next month and I’m completely torn between the two.

    Thanks again!

    • Rachel Rowell March 28, 2014 at 5:28 pm #

      You’re welcome!! 😉 Would DEFINITELY choose a trailer over a motorhome. So many reasons it makes more sense. Cheaper, if it breaks down you don’t lose your home to a repair shop, MUCH lower maintenance. Chance of fire is a lot higher in a motorhome also. Definitely the smarter choice though maybe not quite as luxurious? 🙂 Hope this helps just a bit!

  17. shannon March 28, 2014 at 7:06 pm #

    I’m so glad to gear see say that! There seems to be a push towards the motor homes, but for a frugal gal, the price tag and depreciation on those bad boys makes me queasy. We already own a E350 Super Duty van, it can pull up to 11k max. It’s paid for, my thoughts are between the sell of our stuff and what the realtor expects us to clear we could by a trailer in cash. We have already worked our way out of debt other than our mortgage. So all paid for sounds really really nice!

  18. shannon March 28, 2014 at 7:07 pm #

    *see you say that*…one handed typing while jiggling a toddler 🙂 thanks again!

    • Rachel Rowell March 28, 2014 at 7:09 pm #

      Haha! I Totally understand. You are so welcome! Please Keep me posted on how things are coming along for you guys and let’s stay connected! 🙂

      • Shannon March 28, 2014 at 9:53 pm #

        Last question…promise…what do you tow with? I saw you bought a diesel, what did you start out with?

        • Rachel Rowell March 28, 2014 at 11:00 pm #

          Yes we switched from a Dodge Ram to a Ford f-250 super duty. The ram pulled it but barely. It was a lot more light weight of a truck. We didn’t want to kill the truck transmission pulling the camper through the mountains and such so we upgraded a bit to save ourselves trouble later. The Ford is a heavier truck and pulls it nicely with a lot less “squirreliness.”

          • Shannon March 29, 2014 at 12:49 am #

            Gotcha. Ours is a super duty 350 so I guess we will be good to go 😉 going to head out tomorrow and check out your trailer model…open range should pay you commission 😉

          • Rachel Rowell March 29, 2014 at 12:55 am #

            Haha! Now that would be nice! 😉 ok so when you go, ask for the rolled edge countertops. That’s the only thing I would have changed if we had known. The countertops in the kitchen and bathroom with seams WILL buckle after a few months on the road from washing dishes and such. They can change them out if you push for it. We had to have that done under warranty after 3 months on the road in a brand new camper because ours were buckling bad.

  19. Laurie June 30, 2014 at 4:01 pm #

    We have been full-timing for 2 months now with 7 children. 6 of the children sleep in the back, the oldest (21) sleeps in the kitchen area, and hubby and I sleep in the living room. We have a curtain for privacy and try to be quiet. Sometimes on weekends, we send the kids outside to eat breakfast and we lock the camper doors for some special couple time. Of course, that doesn’t work if it is pouring rain. 😉

  20. anawimexperiment October 4, 2014 at 12:40 am #

    Thanks for the article. Hubby and I are discussing hitting the road next spring and this was a concern that both of us had. About the stabilizers …. are they really heavy duty enough?

  21. Regina February 1, 2015 at 5:26 am #

    We wait til they r asleep and have a fan running to block noise 🙂

  22. D&D April 11, 2015 at 7:37 am #

    My hubs and I have lived in a camper with my in-laws before when the family moved from TN to AK. We found your blog now, years after the move, because we are considering full-time living in a camper and traveling.
    This blog post made me smile so much and yes, we do have a story.
    When staying with the in-laws, we slept in a bed that functioned as the livingroom during the day so our married activities were limited. When we did have sex it was late at night and as silent and as gently as possible. Still, after one night, my dad-in-law asked if we had felt an earthquake over breakfast the next morning. (FYI: Alaska gets earthquakes regularly). His question was sincere but to this day I can’t hear it without blushing and needing to laugh.
    On a more serious note, I’m glad someone is talking about this because we are having a baby and this topic came to mind as we were discussing buying a camper. I too think a bathroom off the main bedroom is necessary.

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